When I think about the ocean, I think about a lot of things and what really gets me is the way it shaped my personality. Part of my childhood happened on Tenerife and my grandfather, who is now a sad old man, because of the life he choosed to live, was part of that time. He starts crying, while thinking about that one girl, which is not my grandmother. He was a always a humanist, and that was his aim in raising me and my brother. He also cried about war in a conversation with my ex-girlfriend, wich I didn’t notice, because I was always afraid of loosing him again. Some „being in the zone“ moment while sighting the pictures of her and me and the day on the beach on my laptop. Subcouncious level. He had a stroke, when I was twelve and as I stood in Intensive Care, I couldn’t identify the person in the bed as my grandfather anymore, because his eyes where looking in completely different directions. It took a long time till that man was my grandfather again and I regret missing that moment until today. He didn’t share easily about that time, because his brother went missing in Russia. I also never asked about the bullet. I was told, how the bullet went through his body, just in the pubic area, where it hit a bone and then left his body through his asscheek. He never told me how it happened and I never asked. Anyway. That is my granddad. When I think about the ocean, I think about the way how my granddad taught me about the waves, which are quite big, and how to deal with them. He said: „There is one thing I can teach you, regarding the waves. When a wave comes, you are presented with a decision and you have to decide how to deal with wave. There are two ways. You can swim up the wave and breakt hrough at its top, where the wave is thin, or you take a deep breath and dive under the wave. Your decision. But in the moment, that you loose control, you have to roll yourself to ball and be sure about it, that there is a beach. I learned it the hard way. I thought, that I could gain control again and I started fighting. The wave didn’t care. It broke my nose.“

Dealing with forces of nature and learning to master them.

It humbles you.

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